HOW TO BE YOUR OWN MAIN SQUEEZE THIS SUMMER

BY LAILA ELISE

This summer, we’re not necessarily flirting – we’re flourishing. If the idea of another sweaty rooftop party filled with forced small talk makes your soul wilt like last week’s basil, it might be time to shift your focus. This season isn’t about finding the one – it’s about being the one. And yes, when you stop performing self-care for the camera and actually start living it, that’s when the right people (romantic or otherwise) start showing up.

Make Plans That Don’t Require
Permission
How often do you put things off until someone can come with you? Whether it’s a weekend trip, a museum you’ve been eyeing, or a Tuesday evening pottery class, consider this your sign to go solo. Dr. Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist who researches the power of single living, has found that people who make decisions independently often experience deeper personal growth and more consistent happiness. You don’t need an entourage to do something worthwhile – you just need to stop waiting. When you move through the world on your own terms, you naturally attract people who value your independence and want to grow alongside you, not tie you down.

Curate, Don’t Perform
There’s a difference between building a life that looks good on social feeds and one that feels good. Dr. Laurie Santos of Yale’s “Science of Well-Being” course reminds us that chasing external validation – likes, praise, follows – rarely leads to real fulfillment. Instead, it’s achieved through experiences that align with your internal values. So instead of planning a “content moment,” plan a memory: eat takeout on your living room floor with your best friend, or watch the stars solo with no one to impress. These are the moments that leave you glowing from the inside-out, and they’re also what draw in people who see your real light.

Water the Friendships That Water You Back
Romantic love may dominate headlines and cinematic plots, but your platonic con- nections can be equally – if not even more – filling. Dr. Susan Pinker’s research shows that close social ties are one of the strongest predictors of long-term health and happiness. So, she advises, pour into the people who pour into you. Plan a standing taco night. Create a group chat that’s equal parts memes and moral support. Say yes to the slow-growing, real-deal friendships. You’ll feel more grounded – and you’ll likely meet new people through those circles who are just as warm and real.
This season, we invite you to embrace a “Hot Me Summer,” a movement that isn’t about pushing love away, but becoming the kind of person you love being around. The beautiful irony? That kind of self- commitment is exactly what attracts people who align with you, your journey, your future, and your growth. I