IN LENGTHY RELATIONSHIPS, IT’S COMMON TO GROW APART WE ALL CHANGE IN SOME RESPECT. THE REAL QUESTION IS, CAN WE GROW TOGETHER?

BY LAILA ELISE

It’s no secret that we all change as we get older, and personal growth is certainly one of the more rewarding aspects of a fulfilling life. However, it can be tricky to navigate our long-term relationships as we experience the natural transitions and transformations of self, especially as our goals, priorities, and even personalities shift. So how do we prevent growing apart from friends, family, or romantic partners? See below for expert tips on how to incorporate personal growth into our most meaningful relationships.

One of the most important things we can remember to do while experiencing major life changes is to make sure to include those we care about in the process. In a recent study, Durham University psychologist Kathleen Carswell pointed out that as people meet and overcome challenges, our sense of self-competence also increases, making us more confident in our abilities and fostering a boost in mood and selfesteem. But how do we bring the important people in our lives into that experience? If we are presented with an amazing work opportunity, or meet a new friend or mentor, we surely can’t be expected to bring our mom into every business meeting, nor provide hourly updates on our progress, right? Carswell said that simply sharing those experiences on an intimate level is more than enough to not only help your loved ones feel more included, but sharing can also serve to encourage them to learn and push themselves ahead as well. Discussing new ideas, business pursuits, and the changes you are experiencing will help your partner feel more connected and invested in your growth even though they are not directly involved and may subconsciously inspire new ideas of their own. This is the real bread and butter of closeness and intimacy.

Another important step to remember is that it will take effort from both sides, so it’s equally as critical to show your support and interest if you are the one who is feeling left out. We need to be proactive and not hold our partner, friend, or family member responsible for leading the communication. Of course, space is appreciated in any relationship, but instead of shutting down or trying to stay out of the way completely, try asking questions, actively listening, and showing interest in your loved one’s new path. According to Carswell, giving them room to grow while showing encouragement in their quest will provide them with the motivation to keep climbing, while garnering true appreciation for your patience and support.